I don't know when or even if I will be back, since Will is moving with me, and California has been my dream for so long as I can remember.
My back is feeling a bit better. Last night I developed a bit of a cough trying to get phlegm up. In the process of coughing gently so as not to aggravate my back, I developed a sore throat, and eventually couldn't stop coughing all through the night. That proved to be a good exercise for my back - I could walk first thing this morning - but my voice, on the other hand, is pretty much shot.
- Mood:
awake - Music:Folk Implosion - My Ritual
If you need to get in touch with me, LiveJournal, MySpace, and Facebook are not the places for it. I will not check those for at least a few weeks.
I'm disappearing off the face of your known planet, and if you know the planet I am going to, then you also know how and when to reach me - and why I'm going.
For those of you that know my tendencies, and the other methods of reaching me - I beg you, don't let me go too far, because I can... all too easily.
- Mood:
determined - Music:Bjork - Bachelorette
When you start caring about someone, it changes the whole dynamic of not just your relationship with them, but your relationship with yourself.
Let's break this down a bit. Say you care about someone. You care that they make it home safe. You care that they had a good day. You care that they smile.
You care about what they have to say. You care about their opinions. And here is the most important one - you care about their opinion of you.
Now it's interesting to note that as a child, you are taught not to care what others think of you - to do as you please, and to please yourself.
Yet that is the inverse of what happens when you care about someone else. So if we are taught to not care what others think of us, then aren't we being taught not to care about others?
You could say that is extreme - but let me assure you it is not as black and white as it may appear. Some people care more about people than others. Those that care the least about another's opinion of them, tend to care the least about people in general.
This isn't to say one overall careless person could not open their heart to a few individuals, but it would surely be more difficult than for someone more caring.
Of course, caring isn't the only factor - trust plays a very large role. In order to care about someone's opinion, you must first trust that person's judgment and ability to form a sound opinion.
An example. I was the little girl that "cared too much" about what others thought of me. I was also the one to walk up to a stranger and open a conversation. Inherently, I was very trusting and caring.
Einstein once said, "the most important question for man to answer is 'is the universe a friendly place?'" - I believe he is right.
When you believe the universe is a friendly place, you openly trust - and when you openly trust, you openly care. And that is perhaps what needs to happen in order for world peace to ever become more than an hopeless ideal.
So teach your children to care about others' opinions. Maybe then they can realize the peaceful happy world we've always wanted for our future generations.
- Mood:
cheerful - Music:Mesh - People Like Me
(P.S. That's Jamie)
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:Depeche Mode - Stripped
- Never have my own place again. It's too hard to move out.
- Minimize my things to that which will fit in a few bags.
- Always have toiletries, a snack, a bottle for water, and a knife.
- Must have: a laptop.
- Mood: determined
- Music:Queen of the Damned Soundtrack - Change
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halafax. Not that I mind it at all - well, the part about being with him, at least. Atlanta just has a negative vibe. Not quite my cup of tea.Minneapolis, on the other hand - I fell in love with the city on first sight. From the plane I saw all kinds of rivers and lakes. So watery. So beautiful.
Then once I got to the ground, it almost felt like home right away. It just felt so comfortable. Sure I still got stared at, but that happens everywhere. The looks were different though.
Curiosity, instead of scorn.
Welcome, instead of "stranger alert."
I soon came to discover that "my kind of people" are plentiful in Minneapolis. Not to mention the city is just absolutely gorgeous. The downtown is the biggest I've ever seen (mind you, I've never been to NY, NY), and the architecture is just stunning.
Housing prices are comparable to NH, downtown at least, but a little less expensive. Yes, I'm seriously considering it. Like I said, I fell in love. The air is cleaner, the city is meticulously clean, public transit is awesome, most people get around by bicycle, and everything is right there at your fingertips.
I've always thought of myself as a coastal bug, but Minneapolis changed my mind. Sure the winters are rumored to be absolutely awful, but again comparable to NH, and the summers rarely get over 90 degrees because of the lake effect.
So I've been thinking about the possibilities of that the last couple days while kicking back with
halafax. It's been a nice relaxing couple of days - just what I needed. My feet are back to their normal size, and things are coming into perspective.So what if I've got $4.42 to my name for now. That will change soon enough =)
- Mood:
calm - Music:Kidney Thieves - Before I'm Dead
...does it matter?
Probably not.
It's time to let go,
and just hold on.
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Tool - Jimmy
I drank a lot of coffee (like, 8 cups a day), ate a ton of tuna (with heavy mayonnaise, which is eggs), preferred turkey over any other cold cut, and snacked on peanuts and dry cereal.
All of which are high sources of Niacin and Biotin.
Lately I've been having heavy hair loss. Come to find out, it's because I dropped my "bad habits." I haven't had a single cup of coffee in over 6 months, I don't eat tuna nearly as much, turkey replaced it but it's not as good as tuna+mayo, and I try to stay away from the peanuts and cereal.
Funny how that works...
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:Bare Naked Ladies - Pinch Me
Too much is on my plate. I'm at that crossroads again. The things that make the most money are also taking up the largest amount of my mind space... not clear enough to take on what will propel me into my future.
Too much is foggy now.
I know it will all make sense soon. I know it will all fall into place in a couple of weeks. That is my pattern... but is it a pattern I can break? I don't like this periodic limbo...
- Mood:
blank - Music:Collective Soul - Not The One
Last night at about 2am, my 'net connection shit the bed. I figure it's no different from the 7 other times I've had this same issue since getting Charter in February, so I start the process.
You know - recycle the modem, and if that doesn't work, call Charter and wait on hold for 20 minutes so they can recycle the signal. Well, that didn't work this time.
So this tech has me go to 192.168.100.1 to check on my modem's signal strength. Now, I'm also on a dynamic IP, which I think is why my connection randomly shits the bed and needs a good kick in the... signal.
Well, last night my "Receive Power Level" was pretty happy, hovering around 0 dBmV (apparently -13 to +13 is kosher). However, my "Transmit Power Level" was maxed out at 55 dBmV. Closer to 30 is definitely better. FYI, my modem is a WebSTAR DPC2100R2.
The earliest they can send a tech to check on my wires is May 1st. I don't think it's that because, without touching a thing, I am typing this right now. It's a nice gift to wake up to 'net access, let me tell you.
Currently, my "Transmit Power Level" is 49. A little earlier today it was 47.8. I have already set up to get Charter Business, which will double my 'net bill, but gives me a static IP and a static tech - one go-to guy. Which, so far I'm none too happy about because Eric seems to be clueless about this stuff.
I'm debating on whether I should go ahead as planned and trade my modem today, or buy a real modem. I'm not sure whether it's my connection speed that's the issue, which is 5M by 512K. I could upgrade to 1G by 3M at almost double the already doubled price, which might solve yet more problems... or might not.
So help me out here. What's the real problem?
- Mood:
annoyed - Music:Autechre - Second Bad Vilbel
I now have 4 clients + NowSourcing, and a probono pet project. I'm not doing any marketing to get these clients. I just fuck around on Twitter and Linkedin.
Recently, for the probono pet project, I reached out to my network to see if I could get a guru in the field for the next podcast. 20 minutes and 1 email later, I had my guru.
Things are good. Yes. Things are quite good ^.^
- Mood:
busy - Music:Enigma - Endless Quest
In one of my previous posts, a commenter tried to start a flame war with me. In the past, a defamatory comment on my blog would get an instant half-assed response and rebuttal, and that flame would eventually turn into a 6,000 comment thread of cheap shots and bickering - no matter my attempts at being diplomatic.
But now that I didn't have the time to reply immediately, much less even read the comment when it cropped up, it has given me two weeks to think it over and come back with a very reasonable response - one which the commenter in question couldn't help but agree with.
Heh. I should have less time more often! ^.^
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Enigma - The Child in Us
- Writing regularly and professionally for FIVE blogs - ComHacker, NowSourcing, and 3 client blogs. (with the help of research from my assistant)
- Guest blogging (the newest one will be on Remarkablogger later today)
- Maintaining and promoting 5 Twitter accounts.
- Redesigning a website for, and collaborating with, one of my own clients.
- Making arrangements to attend my first conference in June.
- Managing 3 PPC campaigns. (with the help of research from my assistant)
- Consistently performing SEO related work for several of my own and NowSourcing's clients.
- Pitching new clients. (with the help of my assistant)
- Pitching magazines for submissions (which are constantly being researched by my assistant)
- Going to Toastmasters meetings.
- Getting an agent with Monitor Talent. (it's a very interesting, but long, evaluation process)
- And of course, the Wordpress weekly podcasts. (although there wasn't one this week since Jeff was at PodCamp)
I (very) temporarily took a pay cut leaving MasterNewMedia, because all the free time I have now lets me do everything I've always wanted - but on my terms.
It's astounding what you can do when your time is your own.
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:Narcotic Thrust - I Like It
I learn through feeling.
I do through logic.
In other words, I don't learn the same way I do the things I'm best at. I'm best at working with numbers, analytics, statistics - "hard" facts. But that isn't the stuff that sticks with me and becomes an applied skill.
I learn through intuition and feeling - applied skills are those ingrained in my "gut feeling." The "hard" facts aren't consciously remembered by the time I'm good at any given skill. It just feels right.
Take for instance, several years ago when I was writing a commissioned blog (spreadingthought.blogspot.com, or the former Mayobrains.com for those that have been around that long), the proprietor of the company said I should write in beat poetry and prose.
I didn't know what the heck it was, but with a nudge and a notion, I went for it. Somehow, I had a knack for that kind of flow and alliteration.
I didn't count my syllables, didn't pine over rhyme, and I paid no heed to speed or any other such nonsensical analysis. I just read it aloud, and if it rolled from my lips and "felt" right, I went with it. I'm much the same with spelling and grammar.
All this time I've been trying to learn new skills, but I have been obsessing over getting all the reports and statistics that I can - because numbers and "hard" facts are my most favorite thing in the world - but without much success.
Now I know why.
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:Jakalope - Anthem 2
How do you get
a REAL message
through to people
who want nothing more than
300 words, pretty pictures, and 60 second videos?
...and I'm not just talking about netizens either...
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:davaNtage - From a Distance
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:Tool - Stinkfist
I was officially announced on the NowSourcing blog yesterday. Since then it's gotten 45 Sphinns (which means it front-paged), 35 Mixxes (also front-page material), and people were re-tweeting it left and right. Who knew a post about me would be so valuable to internet marketers?
Maybe Fate does exist, and maybe our Fate is written in stone - but our Free Will is to either use thy Fate, or strive against it...
In other news, I just bought a 1GB RAM stick, and it's headed my way. Looks like it will be here Friday according to UPS ^.^ I've also picked out my second monitor. Looking forward to buying that when the first check from my freelance gig comes in =D
I'm pretty seriously considering getting a modem tho. The one Charter gave me keeps crapping out. I changed the wires though, and that seems to have fixed the issue. We'll see.
This Friday we're going to Beaufort to see some family, so I'm doing that week-before-3-day-vacation crunch with work. Of course, it's great that I CAN take some time away from all gadgets and not be tied to them, like I was at MNM. Yay for no time-dependent requirements ^.^
Catch ya'll later. Hopefully I'll get a chance to read my friends page in the next few days =P
- Mood: bouncy
- Music:E-Craft - Biowar
More Coming Soon.
- Mood: busy
David, just before he called me from across the room, taken with my Blackberry =)
Also seen in the picture, from left to right, Bonnie (a palm plant), Aristotle (some tropical thing), and Zoey (a bromeliad). The rose stems are fake =P
- Mood: bouncy
- Music:Porno for Pyros - Tahitian Moon
justinfatuation (maybe the 6k+ comments it had to count had something to do with it?)- Mood: bouncy
